Dads!
Great Articles
Dads Get Postpartum Depression, Too / By Robin Nixon, LiveScience Staff Writer
Postpartum Depression / Men Have It Too / FOX 17 WXMI Interview with Nancy Roberts, RN
Have one to share? Contact us with the link and we'll post it here.
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An Intro
I know what you're thinking. This place is called MomsBloom... why would any Dad read this. Well, I'm here to admit that Postpartum issues are not just for women. Sure, we don't carry the baby for 9 months, or breastfeed the baby, or go through the unimaginable pain of childbirth... but our lives are changed as much as our spouse - if not more.
My name is Jeff Tow and I'm the husband of one of the founding members of MomsBloom. No, I wasn't forced to write this column. And no, I won't sleep on the couch if I don't finish it. This site gives me a unique opportunity to share my experience of childbirth. I will keep it brief.
When our two children were born (two years apart), my wife, Sara, bonded with the babies almost immediately. Me... not so much. Life was turned upside down and I felt myself getting more and more distant from everything. Certainly not because I loved my wife any less, and certainly not because I didn't love my children... but, the connection I had hoped to feel right away, just wasn't there. In fact, I thought it would be different for our second child, but it was not.
I tried, but it was easier to work, or run errands, or do anything else other than help with the baby. This strange little human, created by us, has taken over full attention of my wife and left me somewhere else. I wish I realized what was going on at the start and had the right kind of help. My wife was getting madder, and more depressed, and I had no idea why. I didn't realize I was so distant.
Fast forward 7 years. My daughter is 7 and my son is 5 and I love them very much. I can't imagine life without them in it. After a while, I got through it. Sara, it turns out, suffered from PPD for quite some time. Whereas I had trouble right at the start, her trouble lingered. I'm glad I was able to help her through some of her tough times.
So why a Dads section on the MomsBloom website? Because we need help too. If you have a MomsBloom volunteer in your house, it's not just for your wife. Take advantage of their expertise. If you're not comfortable talking to them, then get in touch with me. I'm happy to listen, help, chat, if it will help you get through the tough times at the start.
That last paragraph sounded like an ad... but, honestly, it helps to talk it out. I wish I had that opportunity. And remember, family help is great, but also wildly judgemental.
If we do chat, I promise to keep anything we talk about private. You're no less of a man for asking for help. In fact, you're more so. Having a baby is a great responsibility and the joys it brings are immense.
News/Updates
Nearly 1 in 5 families are affected by some form of PPD. You are not alone, you are not to blame, you will recover with proper help. Click to see the proclamation (PDF).
MomsBloom is awarded grant from Jenny's Light to support Flourishing Families program.
The mission of Jenny's Light is to improve and save lives by increasing awareness of all perinatal mood disorders, including postpartum depression.
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